Out of Reach
by hersheygal
Summary: The fire started to die, along with his hope of ever fixing things with Kate. Oneshot-possible two shot. Spoilers up to 6.09. Jate, Suliet, Jun.


Disclaimer: I don't own LOST.

A/N: Because there hasn't been enough Jack/Kate this season. Reviews would be appreciated!

The sound of the ocean was one he had missed. Before they had left, he had taken it for granted. He knew it was always going to be there. The ocean wasn't going to up and leave, and he certainly wasn't going anywhere. Until he left. And the ocean was gone. Still existing. But nowhere near his reach.

And now he was back. Back on the island. Back near the ocean. The sound of the waves crashing against the shore would normally relax him. But not tonight. There were so many thoughts running through his head. Richard's outburst had caused quite a commotion among the survivors. If they could even be called survivors anymore. If this was hell, they were certainly not surviving.

Jack stared down at the fire crackling before him. Everyone that had been around the fire had gotten up, and Jack was the only one left. Not that he minded. He liked it being quiet for a while. He knew it wouldn't last long.

"Mind if I join you?"

Jack glanced up, startled. It was Sun. "Of course." He smiled at her.

Sun returned the smile halfheartedly and sat in the sand beside him. She leaned forward, her arms around her, staring into the fire.

Jack kept looking at her, unsure of what to say.

"I was mad at you." Sun's gaze remained on the fire.

Jack followed her gaze and looked back at the fire, unsure of what to say.

"How could you just leave that boat knowing my husband was still in it?" Her voice shook at the memory.

Jack looked down; opening his mouth to say something, anything but nothing would come.

"You made sure Kate was on that helicopter. Why not my husband?" Sun said, almost in a whisper.

They sat still again.

"But now I understand. If I had been in your position, I would have done the same thing. I would have saved Jin, leaving Kate behind."

Sun looked at Jack, and he looked back at her. "I forgive you. Not just because Jin is alive out there somewhere, but because I understand now."

"I'm so sorry Sun." He put his head in his hands; the emotions he'd kept in the last few weeks were overflowing. The guilt he'd been feeling about Juliet resurfaced. So many people he had hurt in this whole process. How could he be so selfish?

"Jack everything you have ever done has been for the good of the group. You've made some tough decisions. Some of those decisions have cost us lives. Those decisions don't matter anymore. None of it does. What matters is now. Which is why I'm leaving." Sun stood up.

Jack looked up at her. "Where are you going?"

"To find Jin."

Jack stood up, ready to persuade her to stay. "Sun if you go, there's no guarantee that something bad won't happen."

"I know, but I don't care anymore. If I die, I die. I just want to see Jin again."

"At least wait until the morning."

"Jack, I've had to live with knowing that my husband is out there somewhere, alive, and there's nothing I could do about it. Have you ever felt like that about someone? Knowing that they're so close, but still so far out of reach?"

Jack slightly nodded. He knew that feeling far too well.

"I'm tired of waiting." Sun touched Jack's arm. "This isn't goodbye Jack."

"No it's not."

Sun nodded at him and left for her tent.

Jack looked back at the fire, his vision blurring. He wondered where Kate was, whether she was even okay. He missed her next to him. Their last meeting had been anything but normal. She almost shot him. He remembered the old days where she used to practically beg to be allowed to go on any mission with him, and this time she seemed quite the opposite.

He had screwed up. And he knew it. And because he didn't know how to fix it, he thought it would be better to blow up a hydrogen bomb to redo everything and give him a second chance. It didn't even work, and here he was, worse off than before.

The truth was, he deserved to be alone and she deserved someone far better than him. Too bad she was everything he'd ever wanted.

The fire cackled in front of him, stirring him from his thoughts. The fire was starting to die, along with his hope of ever fixing things with Kate.

* * *

She rubbed her arms briskly. She wasn't used to it being cold. She also wasn't used to just sitting in front of a fire with nothing to do. She felt Sawyer's eyes on her, but she refused to return the glance.

Sawyer wanted off the island. She didn't blame him. There was nothing for him on this island. Nothing at all. And he was being smart, playing both sides. Locke and Widmore would never see it coming. Classic Sawyer. And she wanted nothing to do with it.

She was tired of this. Her whole purpose in coming back was to find Claire and reunite her with her son. But now, everything in her wanted to keep Claire as far away as possible. The thought of Aaron being in Claire's care scared her to death.

So she would play along with Sawyer. Help him get off the island. That's the least he deserved after what he had been through. But she would do anything to keep Claire on the island. Anything.

"You're starin' at that fire as if somethin' is gonna come out of it." Sawyer broke the silence.

Kate looked at him. "Wouldn't surprise me, with everything we've seen lately." She smiled wryly.

Sawyer grinned at her. "You got me there."

Silence again. She knew he wouldn't let it stay that way.

"Miles said Juliet thinks the bomb worked." Sawyer's grin disappeared. He watched her carefully for her reaction.

Kate turned to look at him. "What?"

Sawyer looked down. "Miles. He tried to find out what Juliet's last thoughts were. She said it worked. And I can't think of anything else that she could be talking about."

"But.. it didn't work. We're still here." Kate looked at him in confusion.

"I know. But, maybe, somehow. It does. In the future?" Sawyer looked up at the fire. "I don't know. But if there's a chance.." He stopped mid-sentence.

"You think she's alive? Off the island?"

"Maybe. We were living in a different time line than you. Who's to say that maybe she's living in a different timeline, off the island."

Kate shook her head. "That doesn't make sense."

"Maybe not, but not much makes sense anymore. If there's a chance that she's alive out there somewhere, I'm gonna hold onto that." Sawyer said gruffly, his throat closing up.

Kate took Sawyer's hand in her own, surprising the both of them. She had nothing to lose.

"James if you really feel like she's out there somewhere, don't lose that. Don't give up." Kate looked at him in the eyes, grasping his hand tightly with purpose.

Sawyer's eyes filled with tears, and he looked down and coughed.

Kate let go of his hand, feeling the awkwardness of the moment. "I know what it's like, to have something so close, yet so far out of reach. Like it's almost impossible-" She stopped before her emotions got the best of her.

Sawyer looked at her. "Aaron's still out there Kate. You can come with me, off the island. We can help each other find what we're looking for."

Kate shook her head and closed her eyes.

"You're thinking about someone else, aren't you?" Sawyer murmured.

Kate said nothing.

"You know, Jack blew up that bomb for you." Sawyer couldn't believe he was trying to help Kate with Jack, but yet here he was.

"Jack blew up that bomb because he wanted to erase everything we'd ever been though. All of it. He didn't blow up that bomb for me, he blew up that bomb because of me."

Sawyer chuckled to himself. "You and the Doc never could just talk through things the easy way huh?"

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Jack's somewhere on this island right now, and there's nothing stopping you from going to find him and telling him how you feel. And I'm willing to bet there's nothing stopping him neither, and yet, here you are, avoiding the obvious solution."

Kate fell silent.

"Take it from me, Freckles." Sawyer stood up. "If you love someone, you have to tell them, before it's too late."

And then she was alone, lost in her thoughts in front of the fire. Jack was always in the back of her mind,

but always out of reach.


End file.
